I’ve been reading a fabulous book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. One thing that I read that’s very interesting is the idea of Spontaneous Trait Transference. Here’s what she says.:

In “spontaneous trait transference,” people spontaneously and unintentionally associate what you say about the qualities of other people with the qualities of you yourself. So if I tell Jean that Pat is arrogant or stupid, unconsciously Jean will associate that quality with me. On the other hand, if I say that Pat is brilliant or hilarious, I’ll be linked to those qualities. Ever wondered why people want to kill the messenger who brings bad news? Trait transference. So by being more generous and enthusiastic, I’ll be helping my own reputation as well as other people’s.

I think this is something we should all try to remember the next time we are tempted to gossip about someone. Any thought on this? Please drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you.